posted 10-17-2025 07:02 PM               

Apollo 11-Scented Candle

A frank accounting of the historical inaccuracies associated with our Apollo 11 scented candle:

• The Apollo 11 Scented Candle smells like a certain powdered orange drink mix often associated with the space program, but that was not brought on Apollo 11. The astronauts brought a generic, grapefruit-flavored powdered drink mix instead, because they selfishly did not consider us and our desire to market candles.

• The surface of the candle is a real topographical map of part of the Moon's surface, but not the part where the Apollo 11 astronauts landed, because the Sea of Tranquility is featureless and boring. Why would someone want to land their lunar module somewhere so featureless and boring? This is one of those mysteries that we may never know the answer to.

• The Apollo 11 lunar module was not really 2.3 centimeters* tall and made out of wax. (* See how we're using the metric system? That's for you, science!)

• According to astronaut Michael Collins, the inside of the command module actually smelled like "wet dog and marsh gas."