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[i](Fake News) Press Release[/i] [b]Colbert Elated, Stewart Miffed[/b] NEW YORK (MATS Central) -- Comedic news commentator Jon Stewart is apparently miffed about ISS exercise hardware being named after fellow Comedy Central commentator Steven Colbert. Colbert lobbied to get the Node 3 element of the International Space Station named COLBERT in NASA's online naming contest for the Node. Although Colbert convinced his viewers to vote for "Colbert" as the new name, helping it win by a large margin, NASA elected to name the hardware "Tranquility". As a concession, NASA decided to name the new exercise treadmill COLBERT, which is an acronym for Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill. While the decision pleased Colbert, an irate Jon Stewart vehemently complained to the space agency that he deserved the same treatment. In response, NASA offered to name the ISS Urine Processor after Stewart, Space Toilet Environmental Waste Accumulator/Recycling Thingy. Upon hearing this, Stewart declined the offer.
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